Monday, 10 October 2016

Do People Deserve A Second Chance?


                                Do People Really Deserve A Second Chance?

We all had or still have a person in our lives that screwed us up, whether that person was a boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend or even a parent. 
A person we loved and trusted but has blinded us and we kept falling for the same old excuses and useless apologies.

Is it really a second chance though.
Before we give someone a second opportunity to make things right, we have already given them many, so is not really a second chance. We are desperately trying to fill that void and imagine the potential dream relationship with them that we sometimes choose to look away from the reality, which is, that person is in fact toxic. 

For me, that person was my best friend of 6 years. A toxic best friend can do more harm than any boyfriend/girlfriend could ever do. You trust that person, confide in to that person, you let them see you as you without any disguises the vulnerable damage person that you are. This person can turn your insecurities and hurtful past against you. 

I was all alone in a big city young and naive and I wanted someone to  fill that void. When I met her I cling to her and let her slowly break me down. She would question me and compare me criticize my every move, I was constantly being judged negatively. A small coffee meet up will have as  a result me going home feeling sh*t while she would probably get a confidence boost because there is nothing better than putting someone down to make yourself feel better right? 

I have allowed that person, to treat me like that, I always knew she was toxic, but we shared so many things together so many memories so many laughs, that made me sort of "forget" or let go her nasty behaviour. 
But how much can a person take? How long till you had enough? 
We all have our breaking moment, for me it was last March. She thought it was absolutely okay to belittle me and use derogatory terms against me in front of other people. When I made her aware of her behaviour she said that she didn't realize that she was hurting me, and she apologized. But how is it possible to keep putting people down and not "realise"you hurting them?! You just basically think that you can get away with it. But NO, it doesn't work like that, no one but no one has the right to judge you no matter what. We are unique and imperfectly perfect we ALL make mistakes 
constantly, therefore how dare you tell me how to live my life. If yours is not perfect either. I have chosen to take that person out of my life completely, and I instantly felt like weight was lifted off my shoulders. Is been almost a year since we have spoken, and she recently sent me text saying that she wants to meet up. 

Does she deserves a second chance? 
I replied to her text as I initially thought that she does. After a long thinking I decided she doesn't. People don't miraculously change at least not that fast.  She would go on her old ways as soon as she got comfortable again.  

Not everyone deserves a second chance. We certainly don't get another shot in life. She had her chances to see her malicious ways but she chooses not to. Therefore there is no such a thing as second chances we all make our choices whether we conscious about it or not. If someone's choice was to emotionally or physical hurt another person then, a second chance should not be given. But we have probably already given not just a second chance but 100 chances and we know it, things won't work out. So shut those familiar little voice in your head that tells you that this time things will be different and realise your worth. We all deserved to loved and appreciated we are beautiful and precious and no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Find the strength to get rid of all these dirty scumbags from your life even if that person is your boyfriend/girlfriend. You can do better, I promise. 

Do you think people deserve second chances? 






27 comments:

  1. Your right, not everyone deserves a second chance, some people are too toxic to stay in our lives and not everyone can turn over a new leaf. Sometimes it is best to let them go.

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  2. While I do tend to believe people deserve to be given a second chance, I also think that some relationships can't be fixed. When you pointed it out to her and she kept doing it, well, that sounds to me like she had her second chance and didn't use it.

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  3. I think everyone deserves a second chance - you friend wasted hers. From what you've written, you gave her even more than one.

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  4. Not everyone but I think most of them deserve it, we are not perfect and we all make mistakes, stupid mistakes. Even so I hate people who give infinite new chances all the freaking time.

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  5. I think sometimes people need time to grow before even considering giving them a second chance. With time and experience, I do think everyone can change though.

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  6. I gave second, third, forth and 100th resulting in being seriously assaulted and nearly dying I personally don't do second chances now I learnt the hard way.

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  7. not everyone deserves a second chance but for the sake of life's essence, people should be given that second chance.

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  8. I think that it total depends on the situation and how someone feels in regards to if someone should be giving a second chance or not. Only you can decide xx

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  9. I've had toxic friends like that. One in particular would always talk about EVERYONE behind their backs. I only found out from another friend after we had our falling out. But then in thinking about all the times she'd talk about others around me, it made sense. If people feel the need to put you or others down, it's them. They are the insecure ones. Your friends should be your biggest supporters and if they talk about you to others, they should be saying all the things that are great about you! Clearing out the toxic people just makes room for people more deserving of your friendship.

    Nina
    aworldofdresses.com

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  10. Yes, everyone deserves a second chance. I gave my husband one and I do not regret it!

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  11. Dependant on the circumstances I think people should be given a second chance. Sometimes time does change people and life experiences. I had a toxic friend that I got rid of. I met up with her 5 years later and she's had a complete life overhaul and is now an incredible person. I'm glad i gave her another chance. But some people really don't change. x

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  12. I completely agree, not everyone deserves a second chance to be part of your life. It's healthier for you to get rid of her and just sever the ties. A true friend uplifts and would never drag you down.

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  13. I totally agree, some people definitely don't deserve a second chance.
    They are left in the past for a reason :) x

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  14. Thank you for sharing your experience. Life is too short to have toxic people in your orbit.

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  15. I think some people do and some people don't, for some it is easier and better for you to just walk away the first time, even though it can be difficult whereas some are worth 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances!

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  16. I would like to say yes, but in reality, some people do not at all and it is often better to cut your losses and walk away x

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  17. Was it just for sharing or you were asking for an advice? cause it looks like you already know the answer.
    But an advice whatever you decide finally to do...do exactly the opposite for a change :) Take care :)

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  18. Not really. It never ends well so I don't bother.

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  19. If they don't come looking for a second chance they probably don't really deserve it. I have several people in my life I have gone through this with.

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  20. I think people deserve a second chance if they ask for it. If they are not apologetic, then it's not worth it.

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  21. I think second chances are not an option for toxic people. I've been reading about the topic recently and everyone suggests the same: finish the relation with a toxic person if you can x

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  22. Sometimes people deserve a second chance but not always. That person must be genuine and show that he/she really is worth it.

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  23. I have to agree with some people that only a select few deserve a second chance. But most... nope. Your toxic friend sounds horrible. But she was probably putting all her suffering on you. You don't deserve that. Hope you find a better best friend soon!

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  24. I definitely think people deserve a second chance depending on what they did... but only a second chance... not a third or fourth etc.

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  25. It's tough and depends on the situation and whether that person's personality is 'changeable' in a way. Sometimes it's worth it sometimes not x

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  26. Not everyone deserves a second chance and it's up to you to decide who those people are. I think it's good that you decided to just break away from her so that you'll have more room to grow.

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  27. that depends on the situation - some people do, others do such a bad thing in the first place, that there are no second chances to give. People have to be made aware that they can not just trample on other people without consequences, and giving in too easy, or forgiving even the unforgivable, would allow them to get away with it - blessings!

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