For the last three years, my life stuck on reply, I was on a rut that did not seem to end. After many disappointments I somehow convinced myself that's how things are going to be, I shut my self out completely and did not expect anything, I stopped trying, I gave up. Everyone saw me as that funny girl with no worries in life, the truth is that I was just numb, I somehow disconnected every emotion, at that time, I believed that was the only way to survive. There is nothing worse that seeing everything falling apart right before your very eyes and not being able to do anything but stare.
But how long can you stare, without blinking? You will eventually blink and in the total darkness you are in, you will see a tiny bit of light and that light means hope. I was lost in an abyss,where the darkness consumed my dreams and aspirations, my soul. I knew that I needed to find a way out or else I won't make it, I am not weak I told to myself, I've been through much worse, and I took my life into my hands. That's when I found myself again, I found the drive and passion that led me here. Rejection and disappointments are part of life part of the journey but that doesn't mean that your destination won't be filled with success and happiness.With everything given I rebuilt myself and this time I made sure that nothing will fall apart, I won't fall apart. I do not reject the dark side of me because that's part of who I am, it makes me strong more creative, I embrace it. But I have chosen to let the light inside me lead the way.
I always associated September with new beginnings, a chance to start over. This September will be different not easier but different. I have something to look forward to, I moved to a new house I will be finally doing my MSc in a prestige university. I am grateful for the amazing friends that came into my way and shown me that I can still trust people, but I am also grateful for all the people who doubted me and put me down, I pushed harder because of them.
This post is dedicated to new beginnings and those people who have chosen to chase their dreams until their last breath. We create our future, create yours, like I created mine.
Wearing: Miss Selfridge Dress
Follow me on Twitter: @AnN3e
Photography: David Johnson