Friday, 19 August 2016

Making It In A Big City


Does it worth it?
It seems like yesterday little me would look at the sky and wonder,what is beyond the mountains,how are the people in far away lands, will I ever get out of this small town? I never wanted the simple easy life that all my then friends and cousins wanted- meaning get married early have children move to a house close to your parents and just live. For me that was not living, it was just existing. I wanted more,I wanted to see the world meet people from different cultures, get a degree and my ultimate dream live in a big city. Every time, I mentioned that, people would laugh at me, I was just a little girl, and my fate is in this town. They laughed at me and doubted me so much that I stopped expressing them my need to get away and my dreams, even to my parents. However, I knew someway somehow I would make it, I never doubted that even though everyone around me did. 


Everyone laughs and doubts were meaningless, when I had a golden ticket to London in my hand and three unconditional offer from three universities. That was when I realized that the word impossible exists only in your state of mind, you can remove the two words in-frond and make it possible. 
Everything happened so fast, within few weeks I grab my precious offer worked hard to buy my ticket and flew away.

I can't believe is been 7 years since I was at the airport only 18 years old seeing my mother's eyes red from the tears, my dad was trying to hold it back but I could see the tears coming down, I was their little girl after all. They knew that I wasn't leaving for 3 years but forever, they knew that I would only go back for few weeks in Christmas and maybe summer. Just before I go on the plane my dad whispered to my ear that he is proud of me and I will make it. My mom on the other hand, told me not to be scared everything will turn out okay. But for the first time in my life I wasn't scared even though I knew nothing will be the same anymore and I could possibly face many adversities. It was the happiest day of my life and fear was not option.

But what happens when your dreams turn into nightmares?
Fast forward to today, I got my degree and living in a big city as I always wanted. After graduation real life hit me. I knew things will be difficult in the beginning but hey I got to live in one of the best cities in the world so some sacrifices need to be made. With time gone by, things got worse not just for me but for many of my friends with degrees and no financial support. No matter how much we tried we couldn't afford to get the basics meaning food, we were living on noodles. Rent in London is outrageously high, think £500 for a box room in zone 3 and then travel and other necessities by the end of the month there is nothing left on your account. Unpaid internships everywhere, employers who think you can work for them for free. I worked for a big publication who could afford lavish parties but couldn't afford to pay it's interns even minimum wage. After working with them part time for a month they asked me to do 2 more extra days which means 4 days of the week and 3 days to work on a paid job. I could not possibly do it, I had rent to pay and bills, 3 paid days will not be enough even if I starve myself. Many employers tend to forget that not everyone can afford to work full-time for free, only few rich kids who are supported by their parents. Unfortunately my reality is the reality of many young people in London. Most of my friends are artists,writers scientist we are all connected by the same passion, we all strive for a change and we are not ready to give up. We are young, educated and ready to work hard but greedy landlords and employers who wants us to work for free are slowly killing our dreams. Is not the survival of the fittest anymore, is the survival of the richest.

My dreams of living in a big city were slowly turning into a nightmare. Many times I cried myself to sleep thinking no matter how hard I tried I will never get my dream job or even live in a bigger room.  Living in a big city is rough, as you realize the world is not made of roses, people are cruel and they are ready to step on you on the first opportunity, you have to learn to fight back.  The life in a big city teaches you how to survive, think quick and be strong if you can't do that you will lose yourself,eventually. Even though, I face many struggles, I love London, I found myself here, met incredible people, I still believe that is one most beautiful cities in the world and I feel grateful to live here. 
Even though things are hard, I wouldn't change it for anything, in the world . 

Have you ever lived in a big city?



Jumpsuit: Primark
Shoes:River Island.

33 comments:

  1. I love this post, so great reading your experience of moving to London, I don't think I would've been as brave as you but it's so great that everything worked out! Well done!

    she dreams

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  2. I would love to live in London, but wow would it be expensive. I've only ever lived in my city, but it is one of the most expensive in England! Lovely photos by the way.

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  3. Yes, I've lived in big cities all my life till moving to a small village in North Cornwall. It is difficult, but stick it out and I'm sure all your hard work will pay off. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

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  4. I like your story, you are very brave to move in big city, I believe your hard work will make you a successful person

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  5. Work hard, and wish all your dreams will come true :)

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  6. Love this post. Following your dreams can be a struggle but worth it in the end

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  7. I hope things sort out soon for you. You are doing amazing! I would love to live in London but I could never afford too :(

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  8. It can be hard seeing and living in the big city and realizing that your dream is not a fairytale but a reality. I moved to London thinking all my problems were going to disappear but in some respects they have magnified. I still don't regret my decision and in reality neither of us had choices. We are both destined to be Londoners. Chin up boo love ya xxx

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  9. Yea I lived in London for some months. Didn't like it much to be honest. Fab post.

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  10. You are strong and brave. Living in big cities can be very challenging.

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  11. You are strong and brave. Living in big cities can be very challenging.

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  12. I live in London, it is hard, it is challenging but if I hadn't have moved here 15 years ago, I would have always wondered what it would have been like x

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  13. Cost is always a major factor when it comes to leaving the next. It is higher when it is a big city but then opportunities are more. Glad you made the move.

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  14. I am more of a country bumpkin kind of girl, but nice to hear you are enjoying your time in London. It is an awesome city with lots to offer :)

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  15. I lived in London for a while and I was doing unpaid internships plus working on the side to earn money to live. It's so tough and it's so hard to get by. Especially when you wonder if all the internships are worth it in the end. But the city is an amazing place to live. It's vibrant and buzzing with life. I'm sure one day you'll look back and realise those times made you appreciate the life you have. x

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  16. I was born in a city, albeit just a small one, George town in Penang, then I moved to a bigger city in Kuala Lumpur, and I have stayed in Dublin for a bit .. but maybe it is not exactly a BIG city... hehehe

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  17. It is hard being stressed. I grew up in a "kampung" meaning a village, rural area. But when I came to the city of Malaysia to study and work, I was lucky to have family and friends there to help me transition. I have been happy living here ever since. Hope you find your support system to help you with your stressful times.

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  18. I live at Big City too and lots of commitment that I had to made. A bit stress but I enjoy it at the moment.

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  20. I love your post. I moved to London 6 years ago and the first year was extremely hard for me. But now I cant imagine a better place than London!

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  21. Great post, I lived in London for a bit, didn't like it so moved out. x

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  22. London is a beautiful country! Good luck for your studies =D I still chasing my dream bit by bit now.

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  23. I was nodding all the way through this. London is a tough place to live, and doesn't work for everyone. So glad you rose to the challenge though

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  24. Looking good! Have never been to London before tho...

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  25. It felt that reading a teenager's diary of moving from homeland to a new place and settling down.

    www.themumsandbabies.com

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  26. It really took a big courage from movie from a small city to big city. I face it 15 years ago and I still survive. You also can do it.

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  27. I miss London. Love your Jumpsuit from Primark :)

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  28. I can relate, moving from East Malaysia to the capital Kuala Lumpur which is totally different because of the developments around plus the lifestyle compared to small city. I would like to visit London one day, hopefully the currency rate permits.

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  29. Living in big city is not easy.. But it's still wonderful to be in big city..

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  30. All the best making it in the big city babe! It isn't easy anywhere in the world, but just be yourself and never let others bring you down

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  31. let's be brave n move to more country and city ^^

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  32. wow..you are strong and brave!!! I love London City!!

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