Does it worth it?It seems like yesterday little me would look at the sky and wonder,what is beyond the mountains,how are the people in far away lands, will I ever get out of this small town? I never wanted the simple easy life that all my then friends and cousins wanted- meaning get married early have children move to a house close to your parents and just live. For me that was not living, it was just existing. I wanted more,I wanted to see the world meet people from different cultures, get a degree and my ultimate dream live in a big city. Every time, I mentioned that, people would laugh at me, I was just a little girl, and my fate is in this town. They laughed at me and doubted me so much that I stopped expressing them my need to get away and my dreams, even to my parents. However, I knew someway somehow I would make it, I never doubted that even though everyone around me did.
Everyone laughs and doubts were meaningless, when I had a golden ticket to London in my hand and three unconditional offer from three universities. That was when I realized that the word impossible exists only in your state of mind, you can remove the two words in-frond and make it possible.
Everything happened so fast, within few weeks I grab my precious offer worked hard to buy my ticket and flew away.
I can't believe is been 7 years since I was at the airport only 18 years old seeing my mother's eyes red from the tears, my dad was trying to hold it back but I could see the tears coming down, I was their little girl after all. They knew that I wasn't leaving for 3 years but forever, they knew that I would only go back for few weeks in Christmas and maybe summer. Just before I go on the plane my dad whispered to my ear that he is proud of me and I will make it. My mom on the other hand, told me not to be scared everything will turn out okay. But for the first time in my life I wasn't scared even though I knew nothing will be the same anymore and I could possibly face many adversities. It was the happiest day of my life and fear was not option.
But what happens when your dreams turn into nightmares?
Fast forward to today, I got my degree and living in a big city as I always wanted. After graduation real life hit me. I knew things will be difficult in the beginning but hey I got to live in one of the best cities in the world so some sacrifices need to be made. With time gone by, things got worse not just for me but for many of my friends with degrees and no financial support. No matter how much we tried we couldn't afford to get the basics meaning food, we were living on noodles. Rent in London is outrageously high, think £500 for a box room in zone 3 and then travel and other necessities by the end of the month there is nothing left on your account. Unpaid internships everywhere, employers who think you can work for them for free. I worked for a big publication who could afford lavish parties but couldn't afford to pay it's interns even minimum wage. After working with them part time for a month they asked me to do 2 more extra days which means 4 days of the week and 3 days to work on a paid job. I could not possibly do it, I had rent to pay and bills, 3 paid days will not be enough even if I starve myself. Many employers tend to forget that not everyone can afford to work full-time for free, only few rich kids who are supported by their parents. Unfortunately my reality is the reality of many young people in London. Most of my friends are artists,writers scientist we are all connected by the same passion, we all strive for a change and we are not ready to give up. We are young, educated and ready to work hard but greedy landlords and employers who wants us to work for free are slowly killing our dreams. Is not the survival of the fittest anymore, is the survival of the richest.
My dreams of living in a big city were slowly turning into a nightmare. Many times I cried myself to sleep thinking no matter how hard I tried I will never get my dream job or even live in a bigger room. Living in a big city is rough, as you realize the world is not made of roses, people are cruel and they are ready to step on you on the first opportunity, you have to learn to fight back. The life in a big city teaches you how to survive, think quick and be strong if you can't do that you will lose yourself,eventually. Even though, I face many struggles, I love London, I found myself here, met incredible people, I still believe that is one most beautiful cities in the world and I feel grateful to live here.
Even though things are hard, I wouldn't change it for anything, in the world .
Have you ever lived in a big city?