Thursday, 5 May 2016

Growing Up and Growing Apart

Ghosting-my-best-friend

"It seems like yesterday we were a little punk ass teenagers dressed in black and scuffed converse.
It seems like yesterday we cried, laughed together and promised eternal friendships us against the world.
Where did that time go?
When did we fall apart?"

People say that time apart makes your heart grow fonder, but I don't agree with that. What makes people grow apart is simply growing up. We met approximately 15 years ago,we were both at the bus stop, anxiously waiting for the bus, she offered me a biscuit, our mutual hate for maths brought us together well and the biscuit. After that day we became inseparable, we would confide in each other are darkest fears and hopes we had each other's back, she was my best friend and I was hers. 

Time went by, we finished school, I decided to chase my impossible dream so I moved to London, she wanted to become a teacher so she went in a local college. We talked frequently through skype and kept up with each other's adventures through facebook. Until last year, we slowly started drifting away from each other, suddenly there was no conversation topic I always have things to say but this time I had nothing.  I can't remember when all started if I could someway reverse the time and go to that very moment we fall apart I would but sadly I can't.

When I went back home last summer everything was different I was different, I changed. But she didn't. I could no longer understand how she would get so excited by facebook likes she would always ask me to comment and like her photos, don't get me wrong facebook likes are good but I wouldn't get upset if no one liked my pictures. I never felt like I needed to prove anything to anyone anyways. I'm too old for that, I thought to myself. Maybe is me who is in the wrong. I lived the real adult life since I was 18, I was forced to grow up and be responsible in order to survive.I'm no longer a teenager, and no longer is she. We both got hit by the inevitable force of change. There are parts of me who are still longing the care free life I once had with her when we were two silly girls dreaming of going away and chasing our little  gypsy dreams. My difference with her is that I wasn't afraid I never been I went for things she settled for things. Many times she will bring me back to reality telling me that what I want is never gonna happen, in a way she was right she was realistic and I was just dreamer but when we are young that's all we really have, our precious little dreams, that gives us hope and a reason to get up in the morning. And just like that we became strangers disguised in familiar faces we didn't have anything in common anymore our conversations consist of"how are you? Fine you?Fine, thank you" and then silence.

 I came to the sad realization that the little girl who hold my hand throughout high school is no longer my best friend she turned into an acquaintance someone I used to know.  We no longer going to be bridesmaids on each other's wedding nor raise our children together as we dreamed of. Maybe the "forever" we promised was too long to comprehend at 10, nothing really last forever anyway. Is ghosting the solution? no is not it might seem as a juvenile act, but a disintegrated relationship is hard to fix, we can't dwell on the past. So, I decided to ghost her, it wasn't easy but I felt the need to do it. 

Maybe am wrong maybe one day I will regret it and it would probably be too late. I do look up to her on facebook from time to time, I want to know she is okay and happy with her life. Many times I am tempted to message her by then again i just don't.

She is part of my past and who I am today, she will always be in my heart after all she was my childhood buddy.
"Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled."
Words:
Anna@AnN3e

47 comments:

  1. subhadrika sen6 May 2016 at 16:28

    Great contemplation of your thoughts. It was very well written as well.

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  2. I can so relate to this post! I had once a really good friend but then we just grew apart thanks to the distance & different ways we started to see the life.

    <3: Jasmin N
    littlethingswithjassy.blogspot.fi

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  3. I really connected with you on this post. It breaks my heart. But does it have to be over because it is not the same as it used to be? I have the greatest friends from high school and just because our relationship is different doesn't mean I don't love them the same. We just don't have the same relationship. I love that quote at the bottom.

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  4. It's sad, but sometimes growing up means growing apart. It's always good to keep the door open though, you never know if/when you may grow toward one another again.

    Nellwyn | www.thecardinalpress.com

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  5. I was actually talking about this topic the other day. I think its okay to kind of drift away from friends slightly. I think when you get older, your circle gets smaller and for good reason. Instead of hanging out everyday, you are content in talking to your friend everyday and maybe seeing them every other day. We all move on and have our own lives but the connection and friendships do remain, the ones worth it anyway! Great post.

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  6. It's very difficult to stay as close to people when you're changing and evolving, essentially growing up and becoming your own person.

    Some friendships withstand the test of time, but it's honestly quite rare. I think it's very good that you realised this and are at peace with you moving on and growing up.

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  7. This post is so relatable. I think we are struggle with drifting from close friends, but it takes a really mature person to be at peace with this :)

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  8. There are so many things that change as we grow. Friends are precious and it's hard work to keep the good ones. Very well written post.

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  9. Friends are so hard and I have struggled with the process of changing friends. It's always hard to accept when a friendship ends. Im so happy you are at peace with this. Great post x

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  10. It is true, as we grow up and experience life, those who were once were close to us just no longer fit our needs or we no longer fit theirs. Similar likes and goals fade away and veritable strangers stumbling through awkward silences is all that remain.

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  11. Yes, it's sad to drift apart from our childhood friends, but don't necessarily think the friendship is a lost cause. Sometimes we drift for a while but end up coming back to each other again. The ways in which our lives go in different directions can also end up coming full circle again. Just keep an open mind and see what happens in the future. You never know!

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  12. It happens, especially when you move or go to new schools, universities and colleges. Out of my secondary school friends I only keep in touch with two of them because I drifted apart from the others and realized that true friends are not people that make you feel bad about yourself, instead true friends are those who are there for you no matter what. We go through so many best friends when we grow up and it is a natural course of progression to grow distant when you move. It is even more prominent because technology allows us to 'ghost' our friends and it is sad but that is the way that the cookie crumbles. Chin up hun xxx

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  13. Your story is very relatable to myself, I have grown up living up and down the country and friendships come and go all the time and it's so sad when you are inseparable one day and the next, you wonder where the friendship has gone!

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  14. This is such a sad, but sometimes inevitable story. I have experienced similar myself.

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  15. Sadly I think a lot of people have had similar experiences with people we thought would be lifelong friends. It's happened to me too.

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  16. I have lost so many best friends over the years just from growing up. I wish I could return to those good old days.

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  17. Awww, so sorry to hear that you two grew apart. But yes, being in two completely different places and experiencing a different way of life will cause some drifting for sure. Sounds like you got it all figured out tho :)

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  18. I have grown apartfrom so many friends, which is sad, however at college I am meeting so many more new people and I am feeling great connections to them. I think it is just a part of life.

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  19. It often happens to grow apart from your high school friends :)

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  20. Loved reading your post. I'm very lucky that I am still in touch with all my best friends from my youth. After 13 years, all moving away to uni and now all living in different parts of the UK, people change and move in different directions (we all have for sure) - but once you've got that special bond with people, you just have to keep it going.

    Rosie | www.rosieromance.com

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  21. There are some friends that I have grown apart from but I do have a couple of friends from school that I still count as close friends and see a lot of

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  22. Growing up means growing apart, everyone needs to find their own way in the world. It doesn't just happen with childhood friendships but also adult ones xxx my mummy lost friends after having me because her priorities changed. She still misses them X

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  23. I have a few friends in middle school who transferred and we are not as close as we were before. I should try to make time to connect.

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  24. That is so true! I have grown apart from quite many of my friends that I used to be very close, and some of my friends that I have known for decades don't feel so close ny more. Situations change and we appriciate different things in life. But it's also nice to notice that there are friends you don't need to meet avery day, nor every year yet when you finally meet up with themt they feel the same lovely persons as they were from the very beginning.

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  25. I can definitely relate to this post. Life changes and people change along the way, sometimes growing in different directions.

    Sarah

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  26. Thanks for sharing your story. I think a lot of people try to hold onto the past and think it's a bad thing when friends draw apart but that's just life. You make and drift apart from friends all the time and that's not necessarily a bad thing!

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  27. I have lost so many friends while growing up but I have always taken initiative whenever I got the chance to fix it.

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  28. I've lost quite a few friends - primarily after college. We were the best of friends in high school now only communicate through likes on Facebook. It's sad - but those people aren't what define me anymore. The new friends and SO I have do. So I don't think you'll regret it.

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  29. This is kind of sad...but true. Sometimes we grow apart from our friends we once really relied on. I like to think though that I will always have a soft spot in my heart for some people because they changed me for good.

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  30. I really enjoyed reading your story. Felt i was in it. It is said when this thing happen but as you said we have to move on.

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  31. I enjoyed reading your story, I been there and done that. It harder for me as everyone my age now have kids - where I don't. I'm a loner a lot of the time. xx

    www.annanuttall.com

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  32. I think everyone can relate to your story since while growing up one comes across different situations which molds their thought process. As a result, you loose that connect with people from your past. I too have stopped talking to most of the people from school & college coz I just didn't have topics to talk about and slowly & steadily I grew into a person who needs intellectual conversations. So, the fallout.

    Now, I have few people in my circle but I am content. So, don't worry, its quite common!

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  33. I feel the same way about some of my old friends too. Its a shame but a sad fact of life.

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  34. Growing apart happens. I am sure we have all experienced it in one way or another. I have a friend like this from high-school as well. While I understand the reason we grew apart, it still makes me sad sometimes. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.

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  35. The beauty about humanity and friendship is that it shapes is into something different. It enhances our story.

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  36. The beauty about humanity and friendship is that it shapes is into something different. It enhances our story.

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  37. Love this. I feel you on so many levels!
    I moved to a different country after college and when I came back, I realized that I had changed but no one else had. Very bittersweet feeling.

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  38. No I had a fabulous friend in college and we no longer talk. People grow apart and people change it is just how life is.

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  39. So good to get clear and know when it is time to let go. Well done!

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  40. I loved reading your story, I agree people grow apart and change over time.

    http://xoxobella.com

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  41. This is so true and from the first words of this post, you made me think of a friend from my childhood. One day when we were all kids and playing around the block, she held my hand and said "We're now best friends!" We fought, laughed, argued and grew together... until she decided it was time to become a mother at 21 still in uni. I cried and cried, but gave her support anyway. Two marriages later, she's too busy with her life and we even live in different countries.

    As you said - our roots will always be tangled, but live has changed us all.

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  42. I really enjoyed reading your story! It's a part of life! Well written!

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  43. Beautifully written. You a have your 'life' and looking at her time by time is the best thing you can do now.

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  44. Ah yes! This is an all too familiar story to me. I too had a great childhood buddy. I was a proper girly girl and she was a typical tomboy. There was nothing we wouldn't do for each other and had all sorts of adventures together. We were 8 years old when we became friends and were inseparable. Our friendship lasted till we were 18 and then something happened. We were completely different people with different interests and both of us moved away to different places and time took its toll and soon we were distant memories to each other.........however last year I found her on FB and I did friend her and it has been very positive for both of us. So please consider doing the same xxxKathryn

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  45. That's so true - peopel do grow apart. It's kind of clichee but true (otherwise it wouldn't even be a cliche). We all grow and especially when still rather young it's only natural. I have found some of my oldest friends back to my life now when I'm already an old person. It's a very different relatioship if you compare it with your new friends as you alrady know the background and how the person was in her childhood and teens.

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  46. I wish things like this didn't happen where people grow apart. Especially when the two are so close!

    Love,
    Ivelisse | CarnationDreams.com

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  47. This article is sad, but true, we all grow up, some of us maybe busy with the things that we do, but we should appreciate each other

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