Burning Man


Have you ever wanted to be in a place where societal norms and any kind of control does not exist, no rules and regulations?
A place where you are free to express yourself and embrace your inner freak.

We go through our whole lives repressing who we are,hiding our true emotions feeling embarrassed, guilty and slowly drifting away from anything that purely defines us as a whole human being. We spent most of the time hiding behind the mask we been given by society. In burning man your allowed to throw that mask away be who you truly are, embrace your weirdness,your creativity bring to life the child inside of you that you have been repressing for years. 


Growing Up and Growing Apart


"It seems like yesterday we were a little punk ass teenagers dressed in black and scuffed converse.
It seems like yesterday we cried, laughed together and promised eternal friendships us against the world.
Where did that time go? 
When did we fall apart?"

People say that time apart makes your heart grow fonder, but I don't agree with that. What makes people grow apart is simply growing up. We met approximately 15 years ago, we were both at the bus stop, anxiously waiting for the bus, she offered me a biscuit, our mutual hate for maths brought us together well and the biscuit. After that day we became inseparable, we would confide in each other our darkest fears and hopes we had each other's back, she was my best friend and I was hers. 

Time went by, we finished school, I decided to chase my impossible dream so I moved to London, she wanted to become a teacher so she went to a local college. We talked frequently through Skype and kept up with each other's adventures through Facebook. Until last year, we slowly started drifting away from each other, suddenly there was no conversation topic I always have things to say but this time I had nothing.  I can't remember when all started if I could someway reverse the time and go to that very moment we fall apart I would but sadly I can't.

When I went back home last summer everything was different I was different, I changed. But she didn't. I could no longer understand how she would get so excited over facebook likes she; would always ask me to comment and like her photos, don't get me wrong Facebook likes are good but I wouldn't get upset if no one liked my pictures. I never felt like I needed to prove anything to anyone anyways. I'm too old for that, I thought to myself. Maybe is me who is in the wrong. I lived the real adult life since I was 18, I was forced to grow up and be responsible in order to survive. I'm no longer a teenager, and no longer is she. We both got hit by the inevitable force of change. There are parts of me who are still longing the carefree life I once had with her when we were two silly girls dreaming of going away and chasing our little gipsy dreams. My difference with her is that I wasn't afraid I never been, I went for things she settled for things. Many times she will bring me back to reality telling me that what I want is never gonna happen, in a way she was right she was realistic and I was just dreamer but when we are young that's all we really have, our precious little dreams, that gives us hope and a reason to get up in the morning. And just like that, we became strangers disguised in familiar faces we didn't have anything in common anymore our conversations consist of"how are you? Fine you?Fine, thank you" and then silence.

 I came to the sad realisation that the little girl who held my hand throughout high school is no longer my best friend she turned into an acquaintance someone I used to know.  We no longer going to be bridesmaids at each other's wedding nor raise our children together as we dreamed of. Maybe the "forever" we promised was too long to comprehend at 10, nothing really lasts forever anyway. Is ghosting the solution? no is not it might seem like a juvenile act, but a disintegrated relationship is hard to fix, we can't dwell on the past. So, I decided to ghost her, it wasn't easy but I felt the need to do it. 

Maybe am wrong maybe one day I will regret it and it would probably be too late. I do look up to her on facebook from time to time, I want to know she is okay and happy with her life. Many times I am tempted to message her by then again I just don't.
She is part of my past and who I am today, she will always be in my heart after all she was my childhood buddy.
"Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled."


My Morning Skincare Routine


I always been very bad with keeping up with skincare, I would usually buy cleansers and moisturizers and use them once a month yup that bad. But since I turned 25 and got officially in my middle 20s (sad times), I decided to try a bit harder. When we grow older our skin stops producing collagen and that usually results to wrinkles. Even though I graduated from university couple of years I still maintain my student lifestyle(some people never grow up,sorry mom) meaning late nights, alcohol and bad nutrients which has affected my skin, not irreversible though. Last month, I went to a beauty event and I have been told by many skincare experts that my skin is very dehydrated and I needed to start using a good moisturizer and well drink more water, unfortunately alcohol doesn't count as a hydrating liquid. 
Few weeks ago I decided to give a go to some of the products I have been given which were called "Amie", I wanted to try the Amie products as they are 95% natural and vegan plus they smelled absolutely amazing. 
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